1 : 22 A.M.
This is an early night for me

My vast library of practical yet inane wisdom welcomes a new entry in the quickly-expanding novice cooking section (641.38). To wit: "cream cheese" and "cream cheese spread" are two radically different ingredients which, when blithely substituted for one another, cause your buttercream frosting to be very squishy and sour. Cream cheese comes in a box, spread comes in a tub. Filed and indexed for future reference.

I have enough leftover frosting in the fridge to cover 6 birthday cakes, or one regular sized refrigerator door. Which one would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience?

but at least they weren't speaking "ebonics" or "blinglish" or whatever it's called.

I want to hear what you say

I tried to look down the alleyway but I got a vanagon stuck in my eye

I put down my laptop for a little while and used a real full-sized, non-ergonomic, loud clacky IBM electromechanical keyboard for a week. Now I'm back on the tiny purple thing. It's not exactly giving me carpal tunnel anything, but it's getting on some of my other nerves for certain.

If I poured the glass of cold water over my cold hands and into the shallow keyboard

Once I threw a pretzel and an ice cube off the 31st floor penthouse of the Honolulu Tower. It was so high up, I couldn't walk to the edge of the balcony upright. I had to lie down a good 5 or 6 feet from the edge and crawl towards it, ducking my head against the terrifying view, and even that level of exposure wrung every last molecule of adrenaline from my relevant glands.

alan: I might have a guitar for you but I don't know what the deal is with the practice space or what. Whose is it?

bonnie: L.A. sucks!

ian: don't you owe me $300?

kris: hey, you owe me $200!

brian: $285, please.

andrew: remember that no one ever pays back as fast as you think they will

It's like, when I loaned these people money? I thought it would be a one or two day kind of thing. Till payday. When I borrow money, the debt sits in my gut like a corpse. I can't feel right until it is settled. It's worse if I owe a friend. Brian, I didn't even loan money. I just trusted him when he said he wanted to be in a band, practice, etc. So I wrote the checks to the practice space and collected the money later. I guess I'll talk to his mom about it or something, she's helping him settle his debts.

I hate having to care about this. But I gotta eat, ya know?