6 : 25 A.M.
oh god late

I was presented a yellow jersey today, for making the STP run in a mere three hours, whereas even the fastest of the single-day riders took upwards of 10 hours. The fact that I was in an air-conditioned car and the extent of my physical exertion was holding the gas pedal down the whole time seems to have escaped the riders I was supporting. Nonetheless, it is a terrific jersey (bee black + yellow, no ads), and I could not find it in any store around here, despite being hell-bent for adrenalink. My next trick will be to go from Seattle to Vancouver, though I will probably hurt a lot more at the end of that trip (pedaling the whole way).

Helen food research laboratory recently reported that if your soy-based "smart dogs" come apart during unpackaging, they will weld themselves back together in the microwave if positioned correctly. No longer will vegans suffer the indignity of having broken food for breakfast! Of course, the impractically right brained will find other applications for this property of smart dogs.

soy is murder

The livejournal "meeutp" thing happened. Not all a hundred something people showed. In fact, by accounts I'm reading, only a dozen or two did the bauhaus one. As anticipated, the organization (or lack thereof) caused problems. Apparently, many people showed up, saw no one with a big sign, and left early on. Either that, or they completely forgot it was happening. There is something to be said for serious-minded organizers. The hosts of JournalCon, the other one, are taking no chances. They've formed a corporation and everything, with the Jen Wade as CEO (last time I checked, incorporating involves filling out a bunch of forms describing your business and submitting a hundred or two bucks in fees).

"I still don't understand the deal with Kool-aid man. What IS he? Is the Kool-aid part of him?"

"I think so. But then I also think he serves the Kool-aid in his head if his little pitcher runs out."

"What about if his head runs out? Does he have to make more out of packets of mix?" [kool-aid man voice] "Oh yeah!... Oh wait. Hold on a second, kids. (hauls out a giant spoon) (fooosh, clink clink clink clink)"

"Does the kool aid in his arms and legs get emptied out too? Or does he just have red legs that aren't full of anything?"

"Maybe he's just the pitcher, and the only thing that makes him Kool-aid man is that he's full of Kool-aid. If he got emptied out and then filled with beer, would he then be Beer man?"

"I think the kool aid is part of him. And so are the ice cubes. They're like his nucleus."

"The little pitchers also have faces on them. Maybe they're like pre-kool-aid men. Or eggs. Or they turn into kool-aid men when they get struck by lightning."

"Or exposed to nuclear radiation, if it's the 80's."

Kool-aid man says: Drink this, all of you. This is my blood of the new covenant, which is shed for you and for many in the forgiveness of sins. Do this in remembrance of me.

The body of Kool-aid man is still just shards of glass, though. The only and eternal son is much tastier.