11 : 14 P.M.
oirnbowinrg

It's new! It's chewy! It tastes like crispy bacon! It is new bacon flavored chewing gum. Chew it, and unleash a thousand sizzling frying pans upon your unsuspecting taste buds, or especially those of your close, trusting friends (the poor devils). Why do you do this thing? Because the allure of bacon; it is too powerful, too puissant. True, it is but thinly sliced swine corpse belly. You won't be thinking of the blood gutters or pneumatic stunning hammers while you chew THESE apocalyptic sticks of shangri-lard, though. Bacon Flavored Chewing Gum! Why god, why?

Prove: you can make anything true, as long as you can get two search engines to index it in a search.

What on earth happened TODAY? Well, that's not a question I can easily answer in a paragraph or two. Far, far too many things to even begin to summarize! Lots of those things, though, were kind of boring, and you would sort of expect them to happen, so it's not a good story. Actually, what mostly happened today was that people woke up and ate a lot, then they went to sleep. Some people did it in another order, everyone had their own little trip to tend to between those things.

For instance! There's a bunch of people in France who are really good at riding bicycles! It's called the turdy france or something, anyway I read a little about it and this guy from Texas, Lance Armstrong, he's awesome. He bikes up giant mountains at 25 miles an hour. When he's just sitting there, his heart rate is 33 or so. That's slower than my cell phone blinks. buh blink. (my heart beats twice) buh blink. When he's doing some crazy hill climbing thing, his heart rate goes up to almost 200. This man... all he does is convert food (or whatever synthetic fuel he takes) into bicycling. Oh, and he has cancer. SO! What did I do today? Well I got all upset over nothing, I seem to remember, and then I did some easy-ass task which wasn't quite as difficult as going 21 kilometers up a 10% grade. Obviously I spent some time reading about le tour de france and our vaunted US Postal Service Team. (do we wave flags that say "GO POSTAL"?)